the right thing to do

I know I shouldn't have, but I watched the movie "Freedom Writers" tonight on MTV. They are trying hard to cross promote the "Bad Teacher" movie (which p.s. I totally want to go see). I knew it would make me cry. The book made me cry two years ago. When I watched the movie before I started teaching it made me cry. So, here I am, trying not to cry.

How can you watch a movie/hear a story about kids who so desperately need good teachers, positive school experiences and then cut school funding by several BILLION dollars? How can you know that education is everything and then consider a bill to decrease teacher's salaries - those teachers who are left, and from what isn't exactly rolling in the dough to begin with. And with all of that, I still desperately want to teach. My mom asked me today if I would take my job back with a pay cut and I absolutely would. Without even thinking. When I got to my parent's today there was a letter from my old school. You would have thought it was on fire the way my mom was trying to figure out what it was. Nosey much? Anyway it is a recommendation letter from my assistant principal. This is good because well who doesn't need a recommendation letter, but bad because it means as of the letter's June 16th date I still didn't have my job back.

The way people (ok mostly my parents) are acting, you would think continuing to be in education is just totally out of the question for my life. WHY? I love it, I'm good at it, and it's important to me. WHY is it ridiculous to think that teaching is off the table? Education is important. Kids need me. I'm not done yet. To quote my new letter, "Sarah is a wonderful teacher who is willing to do what is best for her students." Damn right I am. Granted, my kids didn't live in inner city or deal with some of the freedom writer stuff, but they needed me. And I would like to say I made a difference. Proof? ok- besides the outpouring of love, the notes and cards and pictures, you just know.

Some of my favorites who keep me going when it gets hard:
My sometimes sweet 4th grader B. who had to grow up too fast. I read the Twilight series with her and gave her someone to talk about it with and she improved her reading 3 grade levels in a year. My favorite moments are a tie between the Twilight poem she made for me, and the time in the middle of New Moon when she came running up to me in TEARS because Edward left... and I reminded her that there were 2 more books after that and it would be ok, just keep reading. And she did.  I am still reading a YA series she introduced me to, and keep stalking the library for them to get the final book in so I can read it. (Alyson Noel, Immortals series. Totally read it. And if you get Everlasting before I do, I will fight you for it).
My 6th grader J. who was only in my class for about 8 weeks, because P.E. is more important than learning to read. Twice a week during lunch we hung out in my room learning words, reading books, and working so hard. After 14 schools by 6th grade just having a little consistency was such a life saver for him. Hopefully I will see him at the library since he promised me he would read 3 books this summer.
All my 8th grade j-babies. The used to be behavior problem who got to write and stayed out of ISS all year. The so proud to have my name in the paper who improved their grades all around. The iSupport project we did in broadcast, giving them a voice, making them feel heard. The failed state testing but hand wrote me a thank you card for always supporting her.  It may have looked like we played a lot, but again, to quote my AP's letter, I "...motivated [students] to become better thinkers and writers through her Journalism classes."

I know, I'm not as awesome as Ms. G of Freedom Writers. I didn't "save" all of my kids. But I saved enough of them. I made a difference. And when you ask me "what I want to do with my life" that's what I always think of first - I want to make a difference, to do something important. I am not done teaching. I don't want to be, and I refuse to be.

Sorry, long post. I just decided I'm not ready to be done. And I had to remember the kids that made a difference in my life, so I can keep making a difference in theirs.


:)