Monday, June 25, 2012

whore logic

I've written this post like 30 times in my head, and for awhile thought I had already posted it. So forgive the disjointed-ness.  Here we go...

I was selected for jury duty. (Yes, this is now almost 2 full weeks ago, where did summer go!?) I'm expected to say it was horrible, but it totally wasn't. It was kinda cool. And a little awesome. And both boring/tedious and interesting/exciting at the same time. Yes I spent 4 full days trapped in a room with 11 other people I didn't know. It was nothing at all like TV - not fast paced, or very action packed. But it was a little fun. And I feel bad saying that, since obviously for the defendant (who was very, very guilt) it was so not fun. I have a much better understanding of how the justice system ACTUALLY works (way different that in theory). So where does the title of this blog come from? Tucker Max.

See, I went to jury duty the day I got back from spending the weekend in VA hosting my sister's baby shower (more on that later). Whenever I go on a plane trip I load up my nook with books so I have plenty to read on the plane. I loaded Tucker Max's last book (and a half) on my nook and never got around to reading them. So every time we got sent into the deliberation room so the lawyers could hash out some legality of a motion or witness or just object at each other off the record (we spent more time in this room than the actual court. Yea.) I was reading Hilarity Ensues (and Sloppy Seconds). And man is Tucker Max right- going to law school is a stupid decision if it ends in being a lawyer. I'm pretty sure the lawyers were more miserable than the dude about to go to prison. It was really kind of perfect to be reading HE/SS during jury duty. It made all the objecting funnier. And the logic the defense attorney was trying to use? Whore logic if I ever heard it. SO much whore logic.

Which led me to my goal for the summer. I want to be hot (read:skinny) enough for Tucker Max to want to sleep with me. Yes, it's a little vague. As previously mentioned I lost 22 pounds this year (birthday to birthday). But since summer started and I ruined my sleep schedule and metabolism, (also I blame jury duty- sitting and snacking!) somewhere between 3 and 5  5 and 7 pounds is slipping back on. I don't feel like I look all that different than last year - my face is still fat. But I have worn 3 dresses this month that I bought and last wore almost 3 years ago! 2 dress sizes down and I still feel kinda gross. So my goal is that if I ran into Tucker Max (or ya know, any other asshole type guy) they wouldn't call me fat. I re-upped my personal training and have even been going to the gym voluntarily. Now I just have to get my eating habits under control. I'm pretty sure laying in bed until I'm starving to death and then eating the fastest (usually carb packed) option to avoid dying is not a good plan.

Anyway, I have some more but it requires uploading pictures so I'll save it for later. Off to work on my body.