Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie

Hello strangers,
The short answer to the question, "to what do we owe the pleasure of this blog" is that blogging is greater than grading. Report cards are due Friday and I am in full on procrastination mode. Even though it is admittedly easier to grade 2nd grade things than anything I've had to grade before, I still hate the chore. Before I grade I can pretend everyone listened attentively to every glorious kernel of knowledge I bestowed upon them and all got perfect scores. After I grade, I have to admit that yes, some of them weren't listening, and may not have even mentally been in the same room as me, and re-teaching is in my near future. See how much better not grading is to the ego? ;)

This however is not what I was going to blog about.

So here is your regularly scheduled blog that actually goes with the above title.

Remember how I noticed in February that I have attended 10 years of SING!? And SING! is a college event. Therefore, if we do the math and carry the one, I have been out of high school for ten years. In olden days this meant that I would start wondering what those 1,000 plus idiots  people I went to school with are up to. What are their lives like? Are any of them fat?, etc. Notice I said olden days. In today's facebook world, I ALREADY KNOW what their lives are like. What they are up to. Who is fat. (spoiler--it's ME!)

However, in the south we are suckers for tradition. And thus, this week I got the facebook event invite (yes you read that correctly as well- remind me why I need a reunion if I got the invite on facebook?) to my ten year high school reunion. Coming soon to a suburb near me this August! Joy.

For the past few years, before invites and the reunion was just a distant thought not a immediate possibility, I had said things like, " you couldn't PAY me to go to my reunion." and things of that nature. I still feel very much like I do not really WANT to go. Like it couldn't end well for me. Like volunteering for torture.

Here are the top reasons why I do NOT want/need to go to my high school reunion:

• I don't remember anyone. No seriously. I spent the last 2 years of high school trying my best to be as invisible as possible. I did a pretty good job. Any moment not spent trying to be invisible, was trying to fly under the radar as much as possible. I was not cool. Or popular. They were not the "best years of my life". So while there are some (very, very few) names I recognize- student council reps and such, I don't actually have face to name recognition for very many people. I am pretty sure they don't know who I am either, so it's ok. It was a defense mechanism. But also partly because there were a hell of a lot of people that graduated with me. How do you meet and be friends with 1000 people? you don't. 
• Anyone I DO remember or would actually want to talk to, I ALREADY DO. I don't need to go and 're-kindle connections' with people. I have facebook. If I want to be your friend/remember you as a non sucking person/ wish to see or speak to you, I am already doing it. What do I need with the other 985 people I graduated with? 
• This town is a magnet, People like boomerangs. They leave, and come back eventually. I don't need a reunion because there is one every time I go to Target, etc. Most of my local friends, I knew in high school. 
• I am not married and don't have babies. This of course makes me a gigantic failure in life. Not even a fiance. Or at very least a boyfriend! The Horror! Not to mention the 15 pounds I would need to lose to even feel half way not obese. Or the 45 I would have to lose to be back at my high school weight. 
• I do not have a glamorous job with a fantastic title. No one hears what I do for a living and imagines me jet setting around the world wearing fantastic clothes. This is how I pictured myself when I was in high school, and I blame chick lit! Novels in which the main character is always a magazine editor (an extinct job, p.s.) and super fabulous. Not that I don't love what I do. I DO. Being a teacher is amazing. It's also the chosen profession of about 45% of my class. It is not unique, or cool, or something to be like, 'well I'm not married/a mother, but at least I am a fantastic fill in the blank awesome job making millions of dollars a minute!' It was the fall back career of many, and I don't FEEL like I've been super successful. (So to recap, I'm not rich, famous, married, a mommy, OR skinny. Yea, why would I go?). 
• 96% of the people I did graduate with confuse me for my little sister (who, incidentally, IS married and will have a baby by the time this reunion happens. Making her > me in this story). This confusion is because a) I was trying to be invisible while she was a varsity cheerleader and b) how many ridiculously short girls can there be in one school? Obviously we were either twins or the same person. Unobservant people think we look exactly alike. These people are of course idiots. Spending a whole night with people either thinking I AM my sister, or asking me ABOUT my sister is not a fun night for me, no matter how far I have come on the forgiving her becoming closer to her journey. 
• The remaining 4% of people who actually DO know that I am my own person or who I am, they do because of terrible nasty rumors/perversions of truth that ran wild about me when I was in high school (see: trying to be as invisible as possible). Even if they haven't heard the terrible things about me, I assume they do. I walk in defensive. Like oh you think you know what happened, well screw you and stop looking at me like that. I can't help it. I want people to love me and I don't know who knows what. It makes me suspicious and defensive and I'm working on it ok! It's why "went to my high school" is a deal breaker when thinking about dating someone. And why a potential love match would not be on the table at said reunion (my mom's reason for me to go). 

And here are the reasons I WOULD go to my high school reunion:

• Everyone else is doing it.  (at least, according to facebook.)  *insert irony here*

(Drumroll) and now the connection to the title...... (YOU thought I forgot.) 

American Pie (remember that movie!?) came out when I was in high school. It was the first R movie I saw by myself (with my friend, no parents). It was a BIG DEAL. I vividly remember going to go see it. I own the VHS. Well, while there have been many sequels and additions, the original American Pie cast has made a movie releasing in April where they have their (wait for it) High school reunion! OMG how totally perfect. :) I of course have to go see it. And I'm hoping that maybe going to see the reunion movie will somehow count for going to my own reunion. Or at least sway me one way or another. 

Hope you enjoyed my long rambling blog. Now to grade some spelling tests. :) Or go to bed. We will see.