positivity police

That last post (my 50th for those keeping track at home) was really a downer. Yes, that's how I feel. I still could really cry like 3 more times. But 99% of what I'm upset/frustrated/sad about is 100% out of my control. I can only do the best I can do.

So, in an effort to be more positive, here are some good things that I totally CAN blog about.

-I took my christmas tree down (don't ask about my menorah, charlie brown christmas tree, or snowman decoration- cuz they are totally still hanging around)  and put all the ornaments in these super fancy ornament organizer storage containers I got. Organization for the win!

-Last friday we got an email stating the workroom refrigerators were going to be cleaned out over the long weekend and to get everything out (or else very much implied). I had a busy day Friday and accidently left my super awesome really nice lunch box (with real fork inside!) in the fridge. I remembered as I pulled into my apartment complex friday afternoon. I fretted all weekend about my poor lunch box, and today when I got to work, it was still there! Highlight of my day - not losing my lunch box and silverware.

-Had my yearly check up at the gyno on Monday. Every year since college she has said something about me being overweight. Last year was the heaviest I've ever been (she was not pleased). This year when I went I am down 13 pounds from last year!! She was very impressed with my efforts (although she did fuss at me for not eating fruit. but fruit is gross. I'll eat veggies all day, don't make me eat fruit!). Win!

-No matter what anyone says, I KNOW I am doing my best at work. Could I do better at some things? Yes, everyone could. But I give it my all and that's all anyone can ask of me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Hopefully it will be enough. And WHEN I DO get my contract for next year, I'm throwing the biggest most amazing party ever. So there.

I'm going to work hard to find some more things. Power of positive thinking and all that.

I'm still sad - but it's not all Debbie Downer town.

that very special time of the year

Welcome to deep winter- inevitably a terrible (or at least stressful) time for me. This year is proving to be no exception. Usually I can make it to February before the crap hits the fan, but this year crappiness came early. Awesome.

So let's review.

Last week I had pneumonia. I'm still coughing up a lung on a regular basis.

Ok
it occurs to me that the rest of the "crappiness" is not things I can actually blog about yet/ever. Well that's frustrating.

it's either about :
work/school (have you heard the story about how I'm scared to death I won't get a contract this year? It's an oldie but a goodie. welcome to panic season.)
friends
family
legal


I guess I can say that I hate everything about my apartment.. it's too small, my furniture sucks, there's no place to put anything. I would really like to move somewhere. feel a little bit like I'm moving up in my life. to not still be in the same place after all the drama of the last 3 years. I can't until the summer (and after i get a contract) but I'm looking (and watching many many hours of House Hunters.) Friday night my parents who have apparently lost their minds spent the better part of the night trying to convince me to move in to their house. With them. Yea-hell no. The deal? I would get "the whole upstairs" for the low price of $400 per month (utilities included!) the being treated like a 12 year old, constant nagging, and no privacy free! I told my dad that about the ONLY thing I have going for my life right now is that I DON'T live with my parents.

I feel sad. and anxious. and pretty much a failure (at everything), and 100% like I'm going to die alone.
I could pretty much cry at like anything. which is not professional or grown up or anything. I am going to try really really hard not to cry during my appeal hearing next week.

is it spring yet?

Sickness

So remember that list of things I needed to do from the last blog? I have accomplished 3 of those things.
-Report cards (really no choice there)
-oil changed (again, not really optional)
-laundry - just enough for clothes for work really.

In the meantime, I had a fantastic time at the wedding and somewhere along the way got....pneumonia!
AWESOME. I mean who doesn't want a kick butt lung infection? Yes, I made it through 4 days of work last week, came home with a 101.2 fever on Thursday, called in sick Friday and went to the Dr.
At the Dr. I'm expecting the typical oh its the flu (never mind I got my flu shot), we can't do anything etc. So when the Dr. sent me for a chest X ray I was mad. Mad I was going to have to pay for this radiology when I thought it would be clear like it was 2 summers ago when I coughed for 3 months and all my chest X rays were clear.
When the Dr. came back and said there was pneumonia in my right lung I took back being upset about the X ray. Who gets pneumonia?! More proof that my body hates me. Coughing, by the way, is a fantastic ab work out. They have never been so sore!
Took today to make sure I was no longer contagious or feverish, and will be back at work tomorrow. Yes I'm still coughing, but I'm getting a little bored laying in bed all day.

Meanwhile, I have been watching a Suzy Orman marathon on TV today. I am determined to get my money situation in order this year.  I did really well last year. I zero balanced one credit card and paid off about 1/4 of my outstanding debt. But as much as I'm tracking and paying off, I'm still not REALLY changing my spending habits. I need to work on that. One of my favorite shows is "Till debt do us part" on CNN at night. Its couples with way more debt than me and they get their butts handed to them by this bossy Canadian woman. Kinda like a supernanny for finances. It makes me feel better, and renews my motivation to get it paid off.

So, again, I have pneumonia, and I'm trying to work my way down my to do list.
Wish me luck!

Procrastination

Today was essentially the last day of my vacation, and I got nearly nothing accomplished. The next 2 days will be spent wedding-ing it up with my bestie bride to be and trying to be the best maid of honor I can possibly be. I know there are many people out in the world who for one reason or another aren't really thrilled to be bridesmaids or maid of honors (not necessarily even among my readers-this is directed at no one in particular), but I have just always wanted to do it. I am beyond thrilled to have the honor and privilege. I would gladly do it for anyone I am friends with. It makes me so excited. I have enjoyed every moment of being involved in this wedding, especially as the bride is truly marrying the love of her life. I know I'm gushing a little, but I just finished writing my speech, and I had to cut out a lot of the gush as it was becoming way, way too long lol.

things I was SUPPOSED to accomplish: (but didn't)

-laundry.  always at the top of my to do list, yet very rarely gets done. this is not really a surprise.
-pack for the wedding.  to be done as soon as I finish this post.
-take down my christmas tree. I guess I have another week to do this. I got some new ornament packer boxes and so it's not going to be simple, it's going to be an exercise in organization.
-organize my bathroom. another break I guess.
-go through my closet. not really helpful when half my clothes are in the laundry basket to be cleaned. oh well.
-general cleaning. oops.
-grade and do quarter 2 report cards. but hey they aren't due until January 6, and there is no time like the last minute!
-oil change, tires rotated, 15000 mile service for Bella. I meant to do it today but the service center wasn't taking appointments. guess it will have to go for another week. luckily she's only at 14900 ish, so she has some wiggle room.

Trust me, as long as this list is, I swear I got some things done this break. Oh, and my new power cord came today! Many days sooner than expected. So no more fears of the super glue catching fire...  The new power supply is nothing at all like a little different than my old one, and not like the picture of what I was ordering.. but that is what you get I guess. it seems to work, so I'm not gonna get too excited about the differences. It's better than having to buy a whole new computer, which I can't afford for like 2 more years.

OK - off to pack my weekend bag and make sure I have all wedding essentials.

:)

super glue

My life - and by that I mean my computer- is being held together with super glue. My power cord broke last night and I cried and cried. The internet search accomplished with the 8.5 minutes of battery my laptop could hang on to was less than helpful. Apple laughed in my face when I tried to find a replacement, seeing as my model is about 4 generations and somewhere around 7 or 8 years old.
BUT some dad magic and some super glue, and I am writing this from my couch. Wireless router is my new friend, and if the super glue holds (and the power cord doesn't short out and catch everything on fire) this new set up should be pretty good. Just in case, the back up power cord is being shipped and should be here in 5-7 days. I just am afraid the super glue isn't exactly designed to hold electronics and it makes me nervous how long it will actually last.
It just occured to me that "I broke my power cord trying to set up wireless internet and my apple is too old to replace it easily" may or may not be a white girl problem. Poor white girl problem maybe. :)

In other news, my bestie is getting married in 2 days and I have many Maid of Honor things (and regular person things) to accomplish tomorrow. I am super excited and a tiny bit nervous. I just want everything to be perfect. She deserves it. :) Also if someone could come do my laundry that would be fantastic.

Happy last night of Hanukkah, and love you all!

:)

I will totally update this later with pictures, promise*

*there is a 99.999% chance I will NOT actually update this post with pictures. But telling you that I will makes me feel better. So, sorry? 


So today was a bad day. Nothing too terribly awful happened, but it was a BAD day - start to finish.
I had to yell at kids. I didn't have the things I needed for today copied. Many parents had to be called. Children went home on YELLOW (first time all year for me to have to move a kid to yellow!). Children thought the bathroom was actually a jungle gym, and climbing on toilets was totally allowed (it's not). I kept my class in from recess.

BUT.

Because I kept them in from recess (in part because they were no good, terrible, bad, and in part because our scheduled holiday market time was during recess and the elves would have been mad if I didn't take my kids to spend their parent's hard earned money on crap thoughtful presents [sorry for the very long interjection]) I gave them 18 minutes of free time at the end of the day. We all needed it.

During this time some of my sweet angels drew me pictures. I gave them scrap papers and said they could use markers (free time = only time you can use markers) and so I was forgiven for yelling at them.

One of my sweet angels (who earlier in the day thought climbing on the toilet was the coolest thing ever) drew me this picture.

[Insert picture of picture, that I totally probably not update this blog with]

I looked at it. I could not figure out for the life of me what it was supposed to be. (this would make more sense to you if you could see said picture).

I said, "Oh how pretty. Can you describe it to me?"
She looked at me like I had 6 heads. This was free time. Not describe things time. Describe is obviously a reading/writing time word.
I tried again. Cuz I had no clue what this thing was. It looks kind of like an orange ax. With squiggles.
I whisper in my best whisper voice, "what is it?"
She said,"I don't know. I just drew stuff."
And I laughed. So loud and so hard. For like 5 minutes. Funniest thing since the stick joke.

I guess you had to be there. But I so needed that laugh.

in other news, a bulleted list.

• I tried to explain irony to 2nd graders today. I had no luck. But man was it funny. Almost as funny as watching them not 'get' irony. I then told them it was funny (and called irony) and they humored my by laughing fake laughs and whispering "I don't think it's funny" to each other. My kids love me so much they fake laughed! I love them so :) 
• This is STILL not the blog I meant to write before. Hopefully this weekend that will happen
• I have joined Match.com.  it's been 13 days and no one wants to marry me yet. In funny money news, my credit card DECLINED the charge initially and flagged it as possible fraud. Yea, explaining to customer service that yes, I did want the charge to "MATCH COM" to go through was slightly humiliating. Thanks for having my back? But no one stole my credit card to sign up for a boyfriend. (totally embarrassed). 
• My sister and her boyfriend get in town tomorrow. It is also her birthday. I tried to tell her it was her 22nd birthday. Apparently she is actually turning 25, and I told her this is impossible as it makes ME old. No such luck, I am old. 
• Tomorrow is also the 15th anniversary of the day we moved to Texas. I have now officially lived in Texas LONGER than New England. Do I have to turn in my Yankee card? 
• My brother (who is also old now) is taking his first round of finals next week. The way he is whining and going on about it on his facebook status you would think that finals are the worst hardest thing to ever happen to him, AND he is the first person ever to take finals. Poor baby...not.
• I hate everything about the new management at my apartment complex. Tomorrow I'm gonna complain my head off. Also, file a noise complaint on my downstairs neighbor who is currently shaking my house with his music. grr.
• GLEE totally used #WGP this week! Granted, Sam got it wrong and called them "rich white girl problems" but hey, WGP is getting out there. Happy. :) 

:) 

Still not the blog

Still not the blog I warned of in the pre-blog. But entertaining none the less.

1. I watch Chelsea Lately almost nightly. I love Chelsea Handler. I support most things she does. She's a funny smart lady. Now last night she had Whitney Cummings as her guest. Whitney used to be on the CL show. She was a round table regular. A CH pal. And she is a funny lady in her own right. She is producing 2 broke girls- one of my favorite new shows, and her show Whitney is ok (I don't cry if I miss it, but it's watch-able).  So WC is on CL promoting Whitney, and man was she COCKY! Yes I understand this is your bestie and you can relax, but don't act like you're some huge big shot. You used to be ON that show. Chill girl.

2. I was on iTunes on my phone (bad call ALWAYS) at oh 11 pm or so, from my bed, and somehow this happened.

From the Disney show SO Random -  MC Grammar with "The gift of grammar."
Yep. This song (not video) is now in my iTunes library.
At 11pm I thought it was hilarious.
I had thoughts I would let my kids listen to it. "A teaching tool!" I thought.


yea. Feel free to mock me now. :)