OK SERIOUSLY?

I was all zenning out on my positivity train. I was rolling along. Barely pulled out of the "it's not so bad" station. Thought I would catch up on my Blogs I Stalk.

I open POSTSECRET

THE FIRST 3 EFFING SECRETS ARE ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

I will not be ashamed. I cried. Big. Fat. Tears. (not of joy).

You see, (and I hope I'm not going to get in trouble for posting this, so don't tell no bodies)

My sister is now engaged getting married sometime next month. (pushed up from the original March)
Now as they are in the military, this February ceremony will be "just the marriage". Wedding (read lavish affair) to follow sometime next year or so. Sunday, when the news was first announced, the bridal party for the marriage (again, do not confuse with wedding to happen sometime in future) was going to consist of: bride, groom, groom's brother, myself. Witnessed by bride's brother, and parents of bride and groom.  My presence was at very least required.

With the push from March to February of marriage, I was informed today that my presence was no longer required at marriage. Just parents of each, bride, groom.  Not going to lie- If my (little) sister is going to get married (before me) being told my presence is not required really just makes me feel more like shit. Of course, if money and schedules allow, I will of course be welcome at the February event (I think, It felt like backtracking). We won't know till later in the week when this blessed event may possibly occur. Honestly it could be tomorrow at this point. I guess I need to sit tight and watch the storm story as it develops.


In addition - by the end of this year, all members of the 4H AND MY SISTER will be married. Which brings me back to "I'm going to die alone" station.

This train needs to get back on track. SIGH.

Quicky

I think my blog posts are too long. For this I am sorry. I don't do concise well. I have lots of thoughts, I feel I have to explain and give background. I will try to do better.

Today was a very panic attack-y day. Math is overwhelming, and not at all what I thought I had gotten myself into. I am scared to death I can't do this. Then, after math panic, I saw the English team from my old school at the library doing some planning and it was a very sad, outside looking in experience.

I did talk to my neighbor today, she's sweet, and may even be able to hook me up with my halloween costume.... but did agree to turn the vibrate off on her phone alarm. Apparently she often sleeps through her alarm, and I can't say I don't relate, cuz I do, but I don't want to hear the buzzing of HER alarm in MY room. So hopefully this can be resolved in a non-stabby manner.

Please remind me to re-address the following topics at a later, non panicy time:
-Switched at Birth -- interesting nature v. nurture discussion. also, no one is having sex (yet)! Yea ABC Family!

-My strange addiction - I have never looked at a cleaning product and thought, yum, food! Food is good. Cleaning stuff is not. Eating chalk/your couch/dryer sheets is gross.

-Ads part 2 - Sonic=good (ALWAYS funny) , Summer's Eve=bad (it's all about the V? double gross).

-Glitter. Is. Banned. In. My. Classroom. I don't care what grade I teach, no glitter. ever. Think Mommy Dearest and the wire hangers. Tell that woman on the target commercial (more back to school? make it stop!) not to tell people to buy glitter.  Ditto on the rice station that was shown in the example video at my math workshop. There is no way on this planet I am letting small grains of anything loose in my room.

OK, maybe I don't need to circle back to these topics- unless the public demands it. My mind is full of stuff people. I need a place to put it, or I will anxiety myself into oblivion. Thanks for listening.

:)

TV time

Disclaimer- sometimes (ok, all the time) I think I sound like Jen Lancaster. I re-read Bitter is the new Black today and since then I have decided I am exactly as witty as Jen. True or not, reading this blog post requires a small amount of familiarity with Jen, or it may not be nearly as hilarious as I promise it actually is.
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TV is amazing. Even when there is nothing on, it's still pretty good. This weekend I did NOTHING (except get mildly sunburned and not at all drunk, see last night's post) and it was amazing. I don't think I have truly had a weekend "off" in quite a while. The first thing I did was clean out my DVR. DVR is the most fantastic accessory to TV, allowing things to be recorded to watch later. Yesterday I watched so much DVR, I forgot after while that it was recorded and I could fast forward through the commercials, until I was confused as to why I was watching commercials for valentine's day. (Yes, I was watching TV from February. I recall being very busy that month. This is what summer is for).

Which led me to thinking about commercials. I have a degree in Journalism, and have spent lots of time in advertising and marketing classes. My father is convinced my Master's is in marketing. (It's not.) I know some stuff about commercials. Please, allow me to share with you.

First of all, Old Navy, I am super disappointed that you are  trying to sell school uniforms in July. Now I know that you know this is wrong, as the smirky mother in the commercial is sending her poor kids outside while singing about the fact that is it "only July." If it is "only July" (use of the modifier 'only' original ON content) then why on Earth are you selling back to school? Are parents supposed to push their well dressed kids out on the porch to wait for the bus for 3 weeks? Poor parenting never wins. Also, do not allow that child to bring that huge unicorn to school. Her teacher will hate you for it. Finally, your male child is a douche. Correct this immediately and do not let him "pop his collar" again.

Speaking of poor parenting, since when is Nutella part of a balanced breakfast? When I think good breakfast, I often think of putting chocolate on bread. What a good idea! Nutella has a whole website devoted to this cause. It does point out that the key to this plan is putting the chocolate hazelnut/coco spread on WHOLE GRAIN bread products, however, I see some flaws in this plan. Now I am not against Nutella. It's GOOD! I took French class, I know the appeal. I just don't see how putting basically chocolate peanut butter on toast is the best breakfast plan you can develop for your children. Unless you want them to crash around show and tell time. With that awful giant unicorn.

Since we are talking about poor decisions, Dear Nick Lachey...Are you A) a glutton for punishment B) suffering from retrograde amnesia or C) stupidest former pop "star" ever? What part of "I'll put my second wedding on TV" seemed like a good idea to you? Did you FORGET how poorly putting your wedding on TV turned out the first time? Do you expect different results, now that you are soo not relevant to pop culture? You are lucky TLC is actually the wedding channel, or no one would consider putting wedding number 2 on air. What do you hope to gain from this adventure? Neither you nor whoever you are marrying is important enough to warrant air time, so how is this different than any other "say yes to the dress" episode? Please crawl back under whatever rock you were hiding under, as no one needs to see your second train wreck.

I'm sure there is more, but tonight is technically a school night, as I have a workshop to attend tomorrow and Tuesday. I will be learning how to teach math. From what I can tell from scanning the 12 volume textbook, it somehow involves lots and lots of counting pockets. Like the kind in your pants. Hopefully this will become much clearer tomorrow. In the meantime, there are at least 3 more weeks of summer, so stay away from stores trying to push back to school on you and go pick up some mini-wheats (Full and focused!).

Give me London

I'm pretty sure I was British in another life. I love London, tea, and HATE the 4th of July. It's pretty much a cursed holiday in my family, dating back to as long as I can remember. I'm also totally my father's daughter and get paranoid about the stupidest things, including the 4th. We are very superstitious about the so-called holiday. I almost can't explain why. 

I am probably the only person in a 100 mile radius pleased that fireworks are on the super no no list this year. No fireworks? Fine by me. Excellent even. Down with fireworks. OHH light in the sky-- Lame! They are dangerous, have no useful purpose, are dangerous, and often times illegal. Oh yes, 4th of July is a fantastic idea- let's add alcohol, explosives, and idiots! SO FUN! No. To safely watch fireworks, one must go be in a huge crowd of people. I hate crowds. Do it yourself? Someone is either getting hurt or arrested. 

There is also a large amount of red about on this holiday, and all that red just makes me itchy. 

So, call me unpatriotic, but I haven't had a good experience with the holiday yet, so I'll be hiding out and waiting till it's over. Y'all have fun with your danger fire. I'll be safe at home not getting arrested. 

:)