whore logic

I've written this post like 30 times in my head, and for awhile thought I had already posted it. So forgive the disjointed-ness.  Here we go...

I was selected for jury duty. (Yes, this is now almost 2 full weeks ago, where did summer go!?) I'm expected to say it was horrible, but it totally wasn't. It was kinda cool. And a little awesome. And both boring/tedious and interesting/exciting at the same time. Yes I spent 4 full days trapped in a room with 11 other people I didn't know. It was nothing at all like TV - not fast paced, or very action packed. But it was a little fun. And I feel bad saying that, since obviously for the defendant (who was very, very guilt) it was so not fun. I have a much better understanding of how the justice system ACTUALLY works (way different that in theory). So where does the title of this blog come from? Tucker Max.

See, I went to jury duty the day I got back from spending the weekend in VA hosting my sister's baby shower (more on that later). Whenever I go on a plane trip I load up my nook with books so I have plenty to read on the plane. I loaded Tucker Max's last book (and a half) on my nook and never got around to reading them. So every time we got sent into the deliberation room so the lawyers could hash out some legality of a motion or witness or just object at each other off the record (we spent more time in this room than the actual court. Yea.) I was reading Hilarity Ensues (and Sloppy Seconds). And man is Tucker Max right- going to law school is a stupid decision if it ends in being a lawyer. I'm pretty sure the lawyers were more miserable than the dude about to go to prison. It was really kind of perfect to be reading HE/SS during jury duty. It made all the objecting funnier. And the logic the defense attorney was trying to use? Whore logic if I ever heard it. SO much whore logic.

Which led me to my goal for the summer. I want to be hot (read:skinny) enough for Tucker Max to want to sleep with me. Yes, it's a little vague. As previously mentioned I lost 22 pounds this year (birthday to birthday). But since summer started and I ruined my sleep schedule and metabolism, (also I blame jury duty- sitting and snacking!) somewhere between 3 and 5  5 and 7 pounds is slipping back on. I don't feel like I look all that different than last year - my face is still fat. But I have worn 3 dresses this month that I bought and last wore almost 3 years ago! 2 dress sizes down and I still feel kinda gross. So my goal is that if I ran into Tucker Max (or ya know, any other asshole type guy) they wouldn't call me fat. I re-upped my personal training and have even been going to the gym voluntarily. Now I just have to get my eating habits under control. I'm pretty sure laying in bed until I'm starving to death and then eating the fastest (usually carb packed) option to avoid dying is not a good plan.

Anyway, I have some more but it requires uploading pictures so I'll save it for later. Off to work on my body.

:)

Balls to the wall...sorta

Someone asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. My response? "I wanna go balls to the wall, but only for like 2 hours. Then I want to go to bed."
Yep. Lame. I am getting old and it's showing. Going out and getting crazy is soo not in my game plan. As it was, I had a fantastic birthday (week) with plenty of cake and good friends.  As far as birthdays go, Facebook is helpful- as much as it is sometimes surprising to see who DOES wish you a happy birthday, it is almost as surprising who DOESN'T wish you a happy birthday. I was a little shocked at who didn't, but I guess that's how you know who your true friends are. At least I know.  My good friends did treat me right (and put up with my over enthusiasm about my special week day). SO thank you.
I had a bit of a problem with my candles. You see, for the last 3 years I have always used my birthday wish to wish for a job. A contract. To teach. This year, I already have my contract for next year, so I was at a loss for what to wish for. I think I may have wasted my wish. Oh well.

OH! I officially lost 22 pounds this year - from birthday to birthday. Still some work to do, but a pretty good year!
---
Cool feeling- when you think you are talking to one person on text, and it turns out you are actually talking to someone else. Moral of the story? I know too many people named Matt.
---
In other news, Friday I kidnapped Courtney and made her run errands with me. While we were driving, this happened.  (paraphrased to the best of my memory)

Flo Rida- Wild Ones on the radio

Me: this song is so dirty, but I love it. Especially the home run part.

Courtney: What? This song is about true love.

Me: Um, No. How exactly do you get that?

Courtney: She says "If I took your HEART it'd be a home run" Like, you're a player but if you gave me your heart it would be the real thing.

Me: Oh no. She says, "If I took you HOME it'd be a home run" Like if you come home with me you will totally tap this. It's about hooking up. in a wild way.

Courtney: ..... you just totally ruined this song for me.


HAHA this is my life people. :) Hope you enjoyed.

2 weeks left of school, so forgive me for this all being a bit disjointed. My brain is fried.

Evolution of a painting

Have you heard of the new trend? It's painting classes where they encourage you to be drinking while trying to copy a painting. It's pretty fun. There are a few different places where you can do this around, each with a clever name. I have gone twice now - once with work and one with twin (she's totally addicted and is trying to go to each different chain to find the best. Then I think we will need to get her a 12 step program or something lol). I really like it. I think it's supposed to be relaxing (what with the drinking) but it is really a roller coaster of emotions! Perfectionists need not apply as it can become a little frustrating.
After thinking about it last night (because I haven't been sleeping) I have come up with the evolution of painting.
Enjoy.

Arrive at class, examine sample.
"I can totally do this. I will hang it in the hall, or maybe my living room. People will ohh and ahh and tell me how artistic I am. This night will be amazing."
Class starts.
"OK, so I'm not quite getting the same color. Blending is hard. Oh no I went too far to the left. Crap. I suck. Maybe if I blend over here a little....nope too much."
"Oh I can just add a little over here and then it's great. Back on track, almost looks like what the teacher is doing. I rock!"
Looks at neighbor's painting
"How did she get that shading? I am a failure at art. I suck. My color is not as "bouncy" (yes, real word the instructor used last night) as that. I'll just go back over with some more of that secondary color."
"CRAP CRAP CRAP. I ruined it. This is going strait into the garbage."
Move on to next section.
"Oh we are going over this part with a tree. I love trees. I will rock at trees."
"Trees are stupid. Branches are stupid. Shading is stupid."
"I'll just dab some more paint over here. flowers/leaves will fix everything."
"Too much!! Abort abort. Crap. Ruined."
Finished!
"This looks nothing like the sample. and nothing like anyone's in the room. I suck."

Home
"From far away, and in the dark... it doesn't look half bad. I am an artist." :)

Here are the pictures from my two experiences. I both love and hate them. They are incidentally both still in the trunk of my car.

Random Awesome

In case you can't tell, there is A LOT on my mind today.

Really, what happened is I cleared out my DVR over spring break, and now I have NOTHING to watch. Which has left me with two options - do something, or find other distractions.

I did FINALLY clean and organize my bathroom. A chore, that if you look back, I actually started telling you blog friends I was going to do in JULY. And it has actually stayed organized and clean for a whole week!!! This is pretty spectacular. Picture soon.
I have done 1 1/2 loads of laundry today (waiting on the dryer to finish so I can fold it and move the load in the washer to the dryer). I lightly cleaned my kitchen, made a pot of iced tea, and tried a crock pot recipe (that sadly did not turn out well at all and I'll have to try again to scrounge up some dinner pretty soon). I even vacuumed a little and mopped my kitchen floor.  I NEED to get cracking on some grading and portfolio organizing so that I don't get behind again. I really want to go through and organize some math and writing papers, but dude it's just so overwhelming. I need to go grocery shopping, but leaving the house requires a bra and real pants and I am still getting over being sick all week and really am just not up for that.

In my travels on the internet today I found THE most amazing thing ever. I have loved Jen Lancaster (author, blogger, Queen of awesome) for several years now. Bitter is the New Black helped me get through the summer/fall of 2008 and my own unemployment woes. I have been to several book signings and my entire collection of Jen is signed (except her fiction book, which is on my nook). In my blog reading travels I have discovered and read Jenny Lawson's blog theblogges. She's probably like the Arch Duchess of Awesome (only because I've "known" Jen longer). Jenny is local - she writes for the Houston Chronicle in her spare time and lives in Texas. These two ladies are amazing. So the greatest thing ever --- THEY INTERVIEWED EACH OTHER!!! OMG! My two female literary idols talked to each other! I know it's cross promotion (both authors have new books coming out in May, and yes I will be buying both of them. Happy Birthday to ME.) Read the interviews here: JL interviews JL and here:jenny interviews jen (I just realized they are both JL how cool is THAT?!) Jen is skipping Houston on her upcoming book tour this year (BOO! but in all seriousness, in years past it's been at the now closed Borders, so I guess there wasn't a place for it.) BUT Jenny WILL be in Houston (I mean duh, she lives here) on her book tour and I am so there. Yes, I am the kind of english nerd that goes to book signings. Multiple book signings. And has literary idols. And has a tattoo that is from a book. Yep. Nerd alert.  And yet, I haven't read Hunger Games OR the Dragon Tattoo books. Someday.

In other news- I am in the Teacher dance for the school talent show. At practice I learned, that even though I danced for 17 years, I am TOO WHITE to do the party rock shuffle (which, p.s., I didn't know existed until two days ago). As much dancing as I have done in my past, I am currently uncoordinated. It will be a sight to see my friends.

If I am ever going to be a seriously followed blogger like my idols, I should probably learn how to have concise, focused posts. So I'll wrap up for now.

:)

Something

I feel like I should blog. I hate looking at my last post and having it be so negatory. February is going to be a positive month. AD said it is, and thus it is so.

I want to cut my hair. I do this about every other year or so. I want to cut it all off. I meant to do it last week, but with going to Tennessee for the marriage I just ran out of time. This week seems to be going by super fast as well. Maybe I'll get to it this weekend.

2012 is flying by and already so much has already happened. I have SING marked on my calendar and it's my guiding light keeping me focused. I am so super excited.

Whoo OK short post and now to bed.
Love yall.

:)

Procrastination

Today was essentially the last day of my vacation, and I got nearly nothing accomplished. The next 2 days will be spent wedding-ing it up with my bestie bride to be and trying to be the best maid of honor I can possibly be. I know there are many people out in the world who for one reason or another aren't really thrilled to be bridesmaids or maid of honors (not necessarily even among my readers-this is directed at no one in particular), but I have just always wanted to do it. I am beyond thrilled to have the honor and privilege. I would gladly do it for anyone I am friends with. It makes me so excited. I have enjoyed every moment of being involved in this wedding, especially as the bride is truly marrying the love of her life. I know I'm gushing a little, but I just finished writing my speech, and I had to cut out a lot of the gush as it was becoming way, way too long lol.

things I was SUPPOSED to accomplish: (but didn't)

-laundry.  always at the top of my to do list, yet very rarely gets done. this is not really a surprise.
-pack for the wedding.  to be done as soon as I finish this post.
-take down my christmas tree. I guess I have another week to do this. I got some new ornament packer boxes and so it's not going to be simple, it's going to be an exercise in organization.
-organize my bathroom. another break I guess.
-go through my closet. not really helpful when half my clothes are in the laundry basket to be cleaned. oh well.
-general cleaning. oops.
-grade and do quarter 2 report cards. but hey they aren't due until January 6, and there is no time like the last minute!
-oil change, tires rotated, 15000 mile service for Bella. I meant to do it today but the service center wasn't taking appointments. guess it will have to go for another week. luckily she's only at 14900 ish, so she has some wiggle room.

Trust me, as long as this list is, I swear I got some things done this break. Oh, and my new power cord came today! Many days sooner than expected. So no more fears of the super glue catching fire...  The new power supply is nothing at all like a little different than my old one, and not like the picture of what I was ordering.. but that is what you get I guess. it seems to work, so I'm not gonna get too excited about the differences. It's better than having to buy a whole new computer, which I can't afford for like 2 more years.

OK - off to pack my weekend bag and make sure I have all wedding essentials.

:)

super glue

My life - and by that I mean my computer- is being held together with super glue. My power cord broke last night and I cried and cried. The internet search accomplished with the 8.5 minutes of battery my laptop could hang on to was less than helpful. Apple laughed in my face when I tried to find a replacement, seeing as my model is about 4 generations and somewhere around 7 or 8 years old.
BUT some dad magic and some super glue, and I am writing this from my couch. Wireless router is my new friend, and if the super glue holds (and the power cord doesn't short out and catch everything on fire) this new set up should be pretty good. Just in case, the back up power cord is being shipped and should be here in 5-7 days. I just am afraid the super glue isn't exactly designed to hold electronics and it makes me nervous how long it will actually last.
It just occured to me that "I broke my power cord trying to set up wireless internet and my apple is too old to replace it easily" may or may not be a white girl problem. Poor white girl problem maybe. :)

In other news, my bestie is getting married in 2 days and I have many Maid of Honor things (and regular person things) to accomplish tomorrow. I am super excited and a tiny bit nervous. I just want everything to be perfect. She deserves it. :) Also if someone could come do my laundry that would be fantastic.

Happy last night of Hanukkah, and love you all!

:)

I will totally update this later with pictures, promise*

*there is a 99.999% chance I will NOT actually update this post with pictures. But telling you that I will makes me feel better. So, sorry? 


So today was a bad day. Nothing too terribly awful happened, but it was a BAD day - start to finish.
I had to yell at kids. I didn't have the things I needed for today copied. Many parents had to be called. Children went home on YELLOW (first time all year for me to have to move a kid to yellow!). Children thought the bathroom was actually a jungle gym, and climbing on toilets was totally allowed (it's not). I kept my class in from recess.

BUT.

Because I kept them in from recess (in part because they were no good, terrible, bad, and in part because our scheduled holiday market time was during recess and the elves would have been mad if I didn't take my kids to spend their parent's hard earned money on crap thoughtful presents [sorry for the very long interjection]) I gave them 18 minutes of free time at the end of the day. We all needed it.

During this time some of my sweet angels drew me pictures. I gave them scrap papers and said they could use markers (free time = only time you can use markers) and so I was forgiven for yelling at them.

One of my sweet angels (who earlier in the day thought climbing on the toilet was the coolest thing ever) drew me this picture.

[Insert picture of picture, that I totally probably not update this blog with]

I looked at it. I could not figure out for the life of me what it was supposed to be. (this would make more sense to you if you could see said picture).

I said, "Oh how pretty. Can you describe it to me?"
She looked at me like I had 6 heads. This was free time. Not describe things time. Describe is obviously a reading/writing time word.
I tried again. Cuz I had no clue what this thing was. It looks kind of like an orange ax. With squiggles.
I whisper in my best whisper voice, "what is it?"
She said,"I don't know. I just drew stuff."
And I laughed. So loud and so hard. For like 5 minutes. Funniest thing since the stick joke.

I guess you had to be there. But I so needed that laugh.

in other news, a bulleted list.

• I tried to explain irony to 2nd graders today. I had no luck. But man was it funny. Almost as funny as watching them not 'get' irony. I then told them it was funny (and called irony) and they humored my by laughing fake laughs and whispering "I don't think it's funny" to each other. My kids love me so much they fake laughed! I love them so :) 
• This is STILL not the blog I meant to write before. Hopefully this weekend that will happen
• I have joined Match.com.  it's been 13 days and no one wants to marry me yet. In funny money news, my credit card DECLINED the charge initially and flagged it as possible fraud. Yea, explaining to customer service that yes, I did want the charge to "MATCH COM" to go through was slightly humiliating. Thanks for having my back? But no one stole my credit card to sign up for a boyfriend. (totally embarrassed). 
• My sister and her boyfriend get in town tomorrow. It is also her birthday. I tried to tell her it was her 22nd birthday. Apparently she is actually turning 25, and I told her this is impossible as it makes ME old. No such luck, I am old. 
• Tomorrow is also the 15th anniversary of the day we moved to Texas. I have now officially lived in Texas LONGER than New England. Do I have to turn in my Yankee card? 
• My brother (who is also old now) is taking his first round of finals next week. The way he is whining and going on about it on his facebook status you would think that finals are the worst hardest thing to ever happen to him, AND he is the first person ever to take finals. Poor baby...not.
• I hate everything about the new management at my apartment complex. Tomorrow I'm gonna complain my head off. Also, file a noise complaint on my downstairs neighbor who is currently shaking my house with his music. grr.
• GLEE totally used #WGP this week! Granted, Sam got it wrong and called them "rich white girl problems" but hey, WGP is getting out there. Happy. :) 

:) 

Still not the blog

Still not the blog I warned of in the pre-blog. But entertaining none the less.

1. I watch Chelsea Lately almost nightly. I love Chelsea Handler. I support most things she does. She's a funny smart lady. Now last night she had Whitney Cummings as her guest. Whitney used to be on the CL show. She was a round table regular. A CH pal. And she is a funny lady in her own right. She is producing 2 broke girls- one of my favorite new shows, and her show Whitney is ok (I don't cry if I miss it, but it's watch-able).  So WC is on CL promoting Whitney, and man was she COCKY! Yes I understand this is your bestie and you can relax, but don't act like you're some huge big shot. You used to be ON that show. Chill girl.

2. I was on iTunes on my phone (bad call ALWAYS) at oh 11 pm or so, from my bed, and somehow this happened.

From the Disney show SO Random -  MC Grammar with "The gift of grammar."
Yep. This song (not video) is now in my iTunes library.
At 11pm I thought it was hilarious.
I had thoughts I would let my kids listen to it. "A teaching tool!" I thought.


yea. Feel free to mock me now. :)

no more kool aide

Day 60.
CAUTION- super crazy ahead. oh yea. you've been warned.

This has been a really rough week. Yes, it is only TUESDAY.  I forgot what this time of year was like in elementary. it's tough. I can't want for thanksgiving. mostly cuz I LOVE thanksgiving, it's my favorite. but we all need a break. apparently I need a break from my shift key.. I apologize but I'm too lazy to capitalize things. I'm waiting for my Word auto correct to take care of it for me, but it's not, cuz this isn't Word...so sorry.

I got news this week that my instructional coach at the middle school I used to be at where I used to work...
wait, no.  so this is how grammar crazy I am. even though I am not doing a super great job of capitalizing things, I totally just re-wrote that sentence. The sentence with nothing wrong you say? why yes.  "the middle school I used to be at," is not completely wrong, but my "where you at" aversion is soo strong, I HAD to go back and rewrite the sentence. I left the original so you could see. (I love the cross through feature). Yes, I'm a nut. And then, I told you about it. Like a crazy person. I need grammar AA.

anyway, moving on.

so my old instructional coach announced she is taking a position in another ISD as a promotion, and I emailed her telling her how excited I was for her.

Just a note.  when you get a promotion, and you announce it, and someone expresses to you that they are very happy/excited for you (when they didn't have to say anything) it is POLITE to RESPOND and say thank you. (cough cough asshat*cough). *remember like 4 posts ago when i said i was letting him go? yea i totally tried, but this is what happens when he comes back. i get emotionally wrecked, i try, i fail, sue me. I'm working on it. it's still common decency to respond. and not be an asshat.

ANYWAY, I spent quite some time carefully crafting my email, since i found out only because I'm accidently still on her group distribute list from last year and I didn't want her to know that. But i did profusely thank her for my amazing year last year. I hope she responds (like a decent human being, again, looking at you m asshat person.) cuz that would make me feel good.

In related news, when you read an email finding out someone's loved one has passed away it is POLITE to RESPOND, that you are sympathetic. it's called manners.  this is rude and bitchy and only in here since I am currently pms-ing hard core. Sorry.

I just got lost in my own train of thought and forgot where I was going. This has been happening to me a lot lately.


oh well.

so anyway, all the girls are wearing these adorable and totally covetable tutus to school. I am wicked jealous. there is no way my mom would have ever let me go to school in a tutu and tights, since tights are not pants, i don't care how old or young you are. I want to go back in time and wear one so bad. I was going to be a toddlers and tiaras pageant princess (ultimate grand supreme of course) for halloween, and bought a tutu, but I was sick with the mini flu (thanks flu mist vaccine!) and was in bed instead. missed my chance.

which brings me to my quote of the day.   coveting a 7 year old's outfit, I said, " I am tu-tu old to wear a tutu."  which was super funny to my class (and me). and prompted one friend to say, "39 isn't that old. you could wear one."   OUCH. Do I look 39? tomorrow is pajama day. I may wear a tutu instead.

good night moon.

p.s.  I don't have a tag for "super crazy" or "grammar nazi" (and I refuse to make one) so I'm filing this under White Girl Problems. enjoy.

*update*  my old instructional coach DID respond, since she is a good and kind person (STILL looking at you asshat.)
and yes, this post is disjointed. there was another paragraph at first but it involved school business so I took it off to you know, protect my job and all. so sorry. **

Head above water

Sorry it's been so long, school has sucked me in.
My status on FB on this day in 2009 (p.s. how creepy is that feature!) said, "today is the first day I don't feel like I'm drowning. I must have forgotten something."

Ah first year of teaching... fond memories. haha. Today I still feel a little drowning-ish. maybe more like treading water. All my reading testing is done! (now I just have to analyze the results) and I came up with an amazing writing lesson on the fly yesterday. My kids are well behaved in front of others (the librarian gave us a compliment, which is like totally huge for me), and I only made a handful cry this week. ;) j/k!

Most importantly, I left school before 5:00 pm 2 days in a row!!! That must mean I'm forgetting to do something.. oh well. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but 2nd grade is hard y'all!

In other news, I finally broke up with my trainer (about a month coming, and with the help of Courtney since I am so non-confrontational), since I lost more weight in the past 2 weeks NOT going to the gym than I did in the 2 months he was being an ass to me training me. I have my first work out with my NEW trainer on Friday -- If I can keep up this current trend of leaving school.

Saturday I am taking Ashley to the Third Day concert for her early birthday! And am working on planning Mere's bachelorette party. :) Busy busy, so I apologize for my blog absence.

I think that's the wrap up.  If I can continue to tread water for another week I think I'll be able to get this whole elementary thing down.  And bonus! Early release day next week. :) Love it.

Love you, Miss you, will try to do better.

xxx
Sarah :)

Popping rocks

Apparently pop rocks are cool again.

At least 3 people I know have mentioned pop rocks in their facebook posts this week.

-One posted a video of his small baby child eating them (which may or may not actually be safe...)
-One said she got pop rocks in a media kit
-One asked where to get pop rocks in her area

I may not be a social media powerhouse (yet) but I can recognize a trending topic. And this topic, is totally trending.

So, attention everyone! Pop rocks are totally the coolest thing ever right now. Get some!

Quicky

I think my blog posts are too long. For this I am sorry. I don't do concise well. I have lots of thoughts, I feel I have to explain and give background. I will try to do better.

Today was a very panic attack-y day. Math is overwhelming, and not at all what I thought I had gotten myself into. I am scared to death I can't do this. Then, after math panic, I saw the English team from my old school at the library doing some planning and it was a very sad, outside looking in experience.

I did talk to my neighbor today, she's sweet, and may even be able to hook me up with my halloween costume.... but did agree to turn the vibrate off on her phone alarm. Apparently she often sleeps through her alarm, and I can't say I don't relate, cuz I do, but I don't want to hear the buzzing of HER alarm in MY room. So hopefully this can be resolved in a non-stabby manner.

Please remind me to re-address the following topics at a later, non panicy time:
-Switched at Birth -- interesting nature v. nurture discussion. also, no one is having sex (yet)! Yea ABC Family!

-My strange addiction - I have never looked at a cleaning product and thought, yum, food! Food is good. Cleaning stuff is not. Eating chalk/your couch/dryer sheets is gross.

-Ads part 2 - Sonic=good (ALWAYS funny) , Summer's Eve=bad (it's all about the V? double gross).

-Glitter. Is. Banned. In. My. Classroom. I don't care what grade I teach, no glitter. ever. Think Mommy Dearest and the wire hangers. Tell that woman on the target commercial (more back to school? make it stop!) not to tell people to buy glitter.  Ditto on the rice station that was shown in the example video at my math workshop. There is no way on this planet I am letting small grains of anything loose in my room.

OK, maybe I don't need to circle back to these topics- unless the public demands it. My mind is full of stuff people. I need a place to put it, or I will anxiety myself into oblivion. Thanks for listening.

:)

TV time

Disclaimer- sometimes (ok, all the time) I think I sound like Jen Lancaster. I re-read Bitter is the new Black today and since then I have decided I am exactly as witty as Jen. True or not, reading this blog post requires a small amount of familiarity with Jen, or it may not be nearly as hilarious as I promise it actually is.
-----

TV is amazing. Even when there is nothing on, it's still pretty good. This weekend I did NOTHING (except get mildly sunburned and not at all drunk, see last night's post) and it was amazing. I don't think I have truly had a weekend "off" in quite a while. The first thing I did was clean out my DVR. DVR is the most fantastic accessory to TV, allowing things to be recorded to watch later. Yesterday I watched so much DVR, I forgot after while that it was recorded and I could fast forward through the commercials, until I was confused as to why I was watching commercials for valentine's day. (Yes, I was watching TV from February. I recall being very busy that month. This is what summer is for).

Which led me to thinking about commercials. I have a degree in Journalism, and have spent lots of time in advertising and marketing classes. My father is convinced my Master's is in marketing. (It's not.) I know some stuff about commercials. Please, allow me to share with you.

First of all, Old Navy, I am super disappointed that you are  trying to sell school uniforms in July. Now I know that you know this is wrong, as the smirky mother in the commercial is sending her poor kids outside while singing about the fact that is it "only July." If it is "only July" (use of the modifier 'only' original ON content) then why on Earth are you selling back to school? Are parents supposed to push their well dressed kids out on the porch to wait for the bus for 3 weeks? Poor parenting never wins. Also, do not allow that child to bring that huge unicorn to school. Her teacher will hate you for it. Finally, your male child is a douche. Correct this immediately and do not let him "pop his collar" again.

Speaking of poor parenting, since when is Nutella part of a balanced breakfast? When I think good breakfast, I often think of putting chocolate on bread. What a good idea! Nutella has a whole website devoted to this cause. It does point out that the key to this plan is putting the chocolate hazelnut/coco spread on WHOLE GRAIN bread products, however, I see some flaws in this plan. Now I am not against Nutella. It's GOOD! I took French class, I know the appeal. I just don't see how putting basically chocolate peanut butter on toast is the best breakfast plan you can develop for your children. Unless you want them to crash around show and tell time. With that awful giant unicorn.

Since we are talking about poor decisions, Dear Nick Lachey...Are you A) a glutton for punishment B) suffering from retrograde amnesia or C) stupidest former pop "star" ever? What part of "I'll put my second wedding on TV" seemed like a good idea to you? Did you FORGET how poorly putting your wedding on TV turned out the first time? Do you expect different results, now that you are soo not relevant to pop culture? You are lucky TLC is actually the wedding channel, or no one would consider putting wedding number 2 on air. What do you hope to gain from this adventure? Neither you nor whoever you are marrying is important enough to warrant air time, so how is this different than any other "say yes to the dress" episode? Please crawl back under whatever rock you were hiding under, as no one needs to see your second train wreck.

I'm sure there is more, but tonight is technically a school night, as I have a workshop to attend tomorrow and Tuesday. I will be learning how to teach math. From what I can tell from scanning the 12 volume textbook, it somehow involves lots and lots of counting pockets. Like the kind in your pants. Hopefully this will become much clearer tomorrow. In the meantime, there are at least 3 more weeks of summer, so stay away from stores trying to push back to school on you and go pick up some mini-wheats (Full and focused!).

Too tired to sleep

It is 12:27am on Saturday night Sunday morning. And even though I spent $20 at spec's this evening, I am not even close to "drunk". I am such a lame butt I didn't even finish a whole glass of my concoction- making my total alcohol intake for the night somewhere between 0 and 0.5 oz. I bought some cotton candy flavored vodka, which in its defense smells amazing, but is sticky like real cotton candy, and I wasn't really in the mood I thought I was in to be able to drink it.

Anywho- I would love to be in bed right now (I know, totally lame) but my new neighbor who I have decided to hate seems to be in the mood I thought I was in, and is having a loud party. Not like so loud that I can hear the conversation, but loud enough that I can hear the music. I must get in and see how she has arranged her house, as it seems to be very conducive to annoying me, much more so than domestic violence couple.

My biggest dilemma(s) at the moment is(are) 1- WHY am I awake when I have taken an ambien and watched the J.K. Rowling movie?  2- is it wrong to file my unemployment claim at 12:33am when the window opened at 12:00. Should I wait at least till daylight hours? 3- will I EVER learn to apply sunscreen, as my shoulders and face are now burning on fire from spending the afternoon at the pool.

These, my friends, are "White Girl Problems" or WGPs. At least, that's the working definition. Taken from a grad school, um, 'friend'? whose blog I stalk. Her examples include: being a D cup (check), wine that is warm (and ice cubes are not classy), starbucks addictions, and small purse dogs needing anti-depressants (just like their owners).  My current WGP? sunglasses sunburn line. Sexy.

12:38, and at least How I Met Your Mother is on. I so love this show. It has quite a few WGPs. I noticed this evening how many times a character on the show is unemployed and living on someone's couch. A shocking amount for people who are supposed to be grown ups. This makes me feel better about my life.  And since doing SAT tutoring, I have noticed that many of the common SAT words are used in the show. Smart people, bad decisions, White girl problems. Love it.

12:41 and I think the music has gotten quieter. It may be safe to return to my bed. I have decided to wait until morning to file my claim, mostly because I have to math out my tutoring hours, and I have a feeling I will math it incorrectly at the moment. And my notes with my hours is in my purse.

Sorry for the random blog. Good thing I'm not drunk, or this would have been weird. ;)  I have a good one brewing, about advertising. Deep insights I promise. Or just stick around for more White Girl Problems. All the cool kids have them.

:)

Random thoughts

I haven't been sleeping well (shock) and it is showing at the gym. My trainer, who I will call X, is noticing my fatigue. His solution to this? I get to come in every. day. this. week. Yep, the cure for being super tired is to work out more. I thought I could get out of at least Friday, because there is a job fair, but noooo I just have to get up early and go before the job fair. X is evil, and determined to make me punch him in the face. He also tries to make me laugh in the middle of sets, which makes me lose count and have to do more. I'm on to him, but math was never my forte and I find it hard to do the exercise, count, and remember to breathe all at the same time.

So, the point of that was that it is almost midnight, and I should be asleep. Especially since I have to be at work at 9 am tomorrow. I can't wait to quit that job. It is driving me insane. Unfortunately, it kinda looks bad to quit a job while collecting unemployment... soon though. So soon.

Speaking of, I should be able to update with job news by the end of the week. I want paperwork in order before I go public, or quit other jobs and such.

Which leaves me with some random updates.

-Ordered my MOH dress for Mere's wedding today! Hopefully I will look amazing, as it is literally the last one in all the USA in my size/her color and coming from Kansas. It is very us to pick something that is discontinued and difficult to locate. It really only made me want it more. ;)

-I cannot decide if it is best to renew my vehicle registration for 1, 2, or 3 years. I feel like it can't be a bad idea to go ahead and register it for 3 years, since it already caught me by surprise by existing needing to be taken care of so soon ... and there isn't a price difference, just putting the money out now or later. I like the idea of crossing something off my to do list for a very long time.

-No, my bathroom is still not done. Mostly because I spent ALL DAY yesterday at work, and then slept in this morning (see above: exhausted).

-There is going to be a neighbor smack down, as soon as I am home long enough for it to happen. My screamy shouty domestic violence neighbors moved out, and I thought no neighbor could be worse. Boy was I wrong. My new neighbor has this terrible alarm clock that wakes me up every morning (even weekends) by vibrating my bedroom wall. This is NOT OK. It's not even loud, it sounds like a phone on vibrate. It's actually more annoying because it is so quiet, but a high pitched buzzing. Methodically timed. And I can't turn it off. The first 2 days I checked my phone thinking it must be mine. But no. Soon, they will be informed of this fact, and hopefully the buzzing will stop.

Going to *TRY* to go to sleep now. :)

sickness

i feel sick. too sick to care about capitals apparently, so i apologize in advance. i've felt sick for almost 3 days now. i'm not sure what the problem is, but i know if i go to the doctor there will probably be nothing actually wrong except an extreme amount of stress and my complete inability to function as a stressed out person. really, the only class i ever did poorly in at college was stress management. i suck at it.

symptoms - chills/shaking, either too hot or too cold, severe stomach aches no matter what i eat or don't eat and no matter what i take. pain. everywhere. headaches, blinding pain located behind my eyeball, feeling like i am going to throw up pretty much at any moment. sleep all day, awake all night (actually, that's pretty typical for me). crying all the time. at anything. doctor? got any cures?

case in point - watched the justin bieber movie yesterday, cried at least 3 times. it kinda made me miss my middle schoolers like a lot.
i cried in target getting a baby shower gift - this one is actually more explainable. i put a lot of thought into gifts, i like to be a pro gift giver. i am pissed that i am financially unable to get as awesome a gift as i want to. what i want to get, i can't and i feel like what i ended up with is not good enough and really pisses me off. so i apologize in advance for my gift not being as good as i think you deserve, but it's the best i can do... :(

in other news, response to the blogging has been super positive, and i appreciate that. i check my old school email at least 4 times a day to see if anyone wants to give me my job back. no, i do not think this is crazy at all. It actually makes me feel slightly better that my email is still active. the day i can no longer log in is going to suck...

argh ok the stomach pain is getting worse, and it's almost 1 AM so i should probably try for sleep...since i get to go do father's day later today. hopefully once that hurdle is done with some of the pain will subside? fingers crossed. till then i totally feel like i want to die. joy.

(sorry for the randomness, i was hoping it would help me go to sleep).


:)